daempress

it was a hard day's night!

2010-08-29T00:07:00.000-07:00

just loved last evening and night! am tooo overwhelmed to write anything! but i donno y sometimes i get connected with ppl who don't really like me being happy! this thing really sucks. and these ppl are basically losers. BIG TIME LOSERS.

Oh Calcutta!

2010-08-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

yes,i am still in the city i love the most--aamar shohor-- Kolkata! i don't mind going out and staying at a different place for sometime.. but i wanted to be here till Feb 2010 :) God has listened to me, Thank You God :)
on the office front... its hectic.. i go out of home at 8.30 int he morning and come back at 9 at night. all my other ELT friends leave at around 6 but I don't have the liberty to do that! but thats' okay :) i actually don't mind staying back late !
gradually get to know people at my BKC AVM vertical and loving it.
some old connections are fading but i guess this is life and we have to move on..whether i want to or don't.I miss some people who used to be an important..a very important part of my life, a lot. i so so feel like talking to them... sometimes i even dial their nos,but then disconnect it before the 1st ring..like they say...nothing can be one-sided ...especially relationships.
some people keep complaining that i'm changing and very soon i'll become a zombie like most of the sector V people! am i getting workaholic? maybe!
met hindol yesterday.. can't express how good it was to see him.. he is one person who hasn't changed for me..even a bit.. there could have been a lot of mis understandings between the two of us.. but some relationships are strong enough to overcome things.we had a great great great time! seriously!
a few minutes back Debargha called me up! I've never really been too close to him and from what some people always used to tell me.. he wasn't really fond of me particularly!but,, it felt so good to have talked to him too :-)
anyways. will write more later! take care .love

......

2010-07-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

i really donno what to write. yet i feel like writing. i am restless.. helluva lot.. i am tensed.. super tensed. but i am ready too.. a few tears might be shed.. but i'll be fine then..
i am lucky . i have been loved unconditionally by people.. and good people.. but God makes sure that somehow i can't love them back.!! i hate this. and how i hate this. something or the other has to go wrong. anyways. i'll still get out of problems i know. this is a super weird post i know.. but so am i at this point of time!ooooooooooooohhhh

2 exits down

2010-06-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

yes.like the title suggests.. am through 2 exit tests --that of oracle and core Java. have 2 more to go--advanced Java and sqms. please God,make me clear them too !!
have completed two months in office. now used to going there. have a boring routine life-- wake up at 7,get ready for office,go to office, come back! how i'd have ridiculed or had pity on any person describing such a life to me before 2 months!!
anyways. have my office people who are a part of my extended family now.. daily spend around 10 hours with them! sarin,sam,debarshi,santosh,rupsha,sharini,godhuli,arpita,amrita,souvik,anna,subhadeep et all. have come across so many people and so many characters! each one different in his/her own way! i smile a little every time i realize a li'l special[not always in the best sense] characteristic one has!
i can't say i don't like to go to office but i don't like Java! AT ALL!! i hope God finds me a way to save me from this!! really!
anyways. long way to go.
an old friend is in town.met up with him. felt good. but cant go back on anything really. i really wish and pray he moves on and i move on too.
havent watched a movie for over a month now :( :( so REALLY looking forward to watching rajneeti tomorrow. but there's a decent chance of it being a flop cos me and my friend have a record of watching real BAD movies in theaters!
so far so! more. later!

shubho naba barsho

2010-04-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

May this pious day bring light and happiness in everyone's life.had the first exam in office. managed to pass!! and without studying any damn thing. but will have to buck up from next time onwards. dont wanna do this with exit tests!!
made a few friends more..souvik,subhadeep,gogol,debanjan,santosh,sam. made some not-so-good acquaintances too --chhoto mama!!!
anyways todays the start of a fresh bengali new year,hope this brings in peace and freedom from terrorism. am pretty tired and sleepy too! ciao later. good night

thank u

2010-04-12T09:04:00.000-07:00

i have to thank many people.. no reason or maybe many reasons!
the list is long though: ritu,sayantani,arnab,dwai da,sarin,sam,debayan and maybe a lot more people but no more :)

reflection..

2010-04-11T04:31:00.000-07:00

the second Sunday of my work life. and a good one. L-S-D in the morning followed by a super yummy lunch at bhajahari manna and then bhaat ghum! :D what more do i want!!
i have realized something. even if there's someone who constantly wants and does things that make u sad and make u cry,God also sends people who wipe the tears :) i have got friends who i know for the last 21 years or so and i guess that shows i can make friends but some people are also there who just want to take things away from you,and give you nothing in return.not even a reason to smile! oh sorry,they do give u---sarcasm,questions,tears and in loads! i was even ready to take some of these too in lieu of at least honesty and a bit of true love devoid of competition and jealousy,but when u get blamed for things u actually took care about,that absolutely shatters the heart! i don't know if the pieces would ever get fixed!my college life is almost obsolete to me,at least people i thought were my "friends" are not,anymore! except for hindol. he really stands out and stands alone. if you're reading this hindol, you mean a lot lot to me. i can just hope[not sure anymore] that u'll be there for me. i will be there for u,come what may. i have got many promises earlier on that no matter what the situation be, people love me unconditionally and will always stick by me, i have found out their true characters!heart break yet again,but for the good i guess! i needed to be taught a lesson for all the kindness i showed, for all the compromises i made, for all the love i had given. i just have to offer my apologies to a dear lady.i wish,o HOW i wish i could speak to u once. about many things.i know u would have listened to me,neutrally.but look at me,cant even do that!but i have always prayed to God for u,and always will.

strange!!!!

2010-04-10T11:50:00.000-07:00

i really dont know and understand why people come and post comments in my blog when they are totally unwanted!!! an earnest request, people i dont talk to or dont want to talk to.. please do not post to or even read [if possible] what i write!! i'd be really obliged if that can happen.THANK U!

for certain hypocrites!

2010-04-10T01:16:00.000-07:00

there are certain people in this world who can only complain and be jealous of people if they are doing well!! and one more thing! post sarcasm on their blogs!! lol!! but there are also some stupid people like me who read them!! so who's at fault!! i am!!
on one hand they say they cannot be friends with a certain person and on the other they pretend to wish them luck on their blog!!!! hypocrites! rather HYPOCRITES are all i can call them!

Happy Birthday to me!!!

2010-04-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

i had the most amaaaaaazing birthday ever!!!!!
was blown away by wishes!! some wanted a few unwanted! anyways as long as they're good wishes,dont really mind :P :P
anyways my colleagues and sir got me a wonderful cake and they allowed me to cut it,eat it and also smeared a good deal on my face!!! ha ha i loved all of that!
at home C di got a yummmmy chocolate mousse cake for me!! how i love that! mashis came .. all in all.. a very good day :)

bday eve!

2010-04-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

yeah its the eve of my birthday and instead of making plans for any party i m searching for materials to study for my test on the 13th!! is this me?!!! lol.
tomorrow is bday! growing old eh?! i wish and pray to god to give me optimism,positive energy,good health and love if he wishes to :)
will go to office tomorrow, try to learn oracle, do my job and come back. no plans. no party. nothing! and it isnt making too much of a difference either! anyways! just hope the bday doesnt make me cry atleast!!!

p.s !!

2010-04-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

i am again excited about my birthday though dunno if my office will allow me to have any fun!!! a mis understanding with a dear friend just got solved so am HAPPEEE!! :D
more later.

................

2010-04-02T22:28:00.001-07:00

a new life has started. new people,new environment.i like going to office. but personal life has taken a toss. nothing's right and nothing seems to go right too. somehow or the other i seem to be people and God's favorite creature to be burdened with tears! i'm trying not to complain this time. hopefully work starts full fledged from Monday and i'll get less time to think about all these.birthday's coming up and since yesterday i am not even excited about that! already got some gifts though! thank you baba for the watch,thank you ma for the kurta,the shoes and the bag! lets see what more i get!!
last evening went somewhere from where returned with a lot of apprehensions. feel bad for my brother. a bit too similarity we seem to have.. he's a great guy God, don't hurt him like the way you keep doing!!
on the work front made some friends--sarin,rupsha,amrita,oeindrila and madhumanti.there are more but for the time being this is the group i hang out with. got a long weekend off in the first week itself. :-)
poila baishak ,that is, pious naba barsho is coming up. hopefully it'll wear away a lot of pains and agonies of the previous year. at the same time let the good luck which did smile on me continue :P see i'm greedy and i want all good things!!! ha ha ha
anyways at the moment i want to concentrate on my training. and do well there.and with it if personal life gets blessed with some happiness,then aaalll will be welll :-) anyways more later
love

two days down

2010-03-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

here i am! i am working now!! and already two days old at Cognizant! spent the first two days at the magnificent bantala office. from tomorrow i shall have to go at salt lake techno india building.we shall be given our technologies tomorrow so..all prayers!

embrace change!

2010-03-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

facebook's fortune cookie tells me to embrace change! and i am eagerly waiting with open arms,to do so :) i have waited my entire lifetime for this day! when my working life begins! and here it is.. just a night away :) boy am thrilled,excited! let it go well God. bless me :)
will be back to share my experience!
love

ohhh boy!

2010-03-23T21:56:00.000-07:00

life changes in a whisker.. i know this now..and how! a toast to all those who believed i was inept and they managed to make me believe that too! thanks guys. had it not been for u.. maybe i wont have been here today ! so thanks a ton people!

and now is the time i bid adieu..to you..to you.. to you..and you :)

2010-03-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

well well well!! when i first got my offer letter about a year back stating that i was to join Infosys on 29th march 2010, i was in tears! i had thought this day would never come. all my friends would get their joining dates and we,a bunch of Infoscions, would have to wait and wait and wait! but the day is about to come..and now when its almost time, i do have a heart which is on the heavier side. yes, i feel sad to leave. i have my mother,my brother here, i have my relatives, i have my friends like nitin,antariksh,sayantani,anasua,indranil etc. but ritu's in bangalore so i look forward to being there as well.
in all these months a lot happened,still happening. i have never been in such an uncertain phase of my life ever before. or maybe i have?! but at the moment i dont know how my life is going to be in the next six months! really! but i know whatever is going to happen is to add to my bag of experience!
i am writing after a long long time. and probably its my last post before leaving. many things happened. i laughed,i cried, i felt sad and good in moments! :)
had a good time in new year. January and February too were not bad. the confusion seems to clear out.good for me if it does finally.
am looking forward to going to mysore now. next week this time.. my house would be full of people,some a bit sad,some happy some emotional but all well wishers :)
please bless me god so that i can do well in my work field :) i really wanna grow and reach to a pinnacle of glory. as my name means " the container of glory" want to live up to that :) anyways have got to meet a lot of people. have finished meeting some,some are left. more. later :)

whats going on?!

2009-12-03T23:03:00.001-08:00

i really really dunno whats going on..i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo confused..yet again..yes!!!! oh lord this is so restless a phase!!! but thank u for giving me some people who love me and care for me and make me happy :) they mean a lot to me. and these times will pass by.. just need to do one thing right...THINK LESS!! if that were possible..

nothing much.......

2009-11-26T22:13:00.000-08:00

its gonna sound depressing yet again maybe! but that's pretty much my state of mind at the moment. i miss my friends terribly. i can now realize what kind of a bond we actually used to share. they say it becomes difficult to maintain any relationship from a long distance. and i have had an experience of that. but now i am beginning to realize that distances sometimes bridge gaps as well. you sometimes takes people for granted or maybe just don't realize what they mean to you when they're closer to you. but you realize the moment they leave.anyways no use cribbing.
i am feeling very restless too.wish my joining weren't this late.
strange things happening around everywhere. feel bad for some of my friends.

i walk alone.........

2009-11-22T08:47:00.000-08:00

my best friends are not in the city.. some have gone to join their jobs.. and one has gone for an outing...i am left all alone..having this strange strange feeling...wonder what i ll do when i have to leave kolkata.. in these 2 days or so i realize what they mean to me and how they're attached to me and my life.. the people who have gone to join tcs cant come back so early.. but ritu..come back baby..i miss u sooo much..

wanna be loved :)

2009-11-15T21:27:00.001-08:00

its the effect of two songs "kahin to hogi woh" from jaane tu ya jaane na and "yeh haseen wadiyan" from roja that i want to be loved... badddly :) the atmosphere that was created when these two songs were sung.....it was haunting..it was sweet.. it made one like being in love..what more can a song do?! rahman's so great... through songs he can actually make u crave for being in love. i wish i were lucky enough! am still drooling over the concert and trying to relive those precious moments by just listening t rahman's songs on my pc or even in my car!

trio!maybe one more!

2009-11-15T09:30:00.001-08:00

met up with nitin and antariksh. was feeling sleepy in the afternoon but still went to anty's place with nitin. had great time lazying in his house. pulling his leg,listening to his film script and addaing! then mr.trix wanted to have icecream and so we went to mamamia! and had a greattttt time. cant say we did this we did that. just realised an hour later.. whenever i spend time with these ppl...its always so very special. and each one of us feels that way. we could only include brup in the group..no one else. we just love being with each other.. our own dostana!! well just for clarification no one's a gay and i wont fall in love with any bobby deol for sure!! :P
cheers to the trio!

Rahmania!

2009-11-14T19:28:00.000-08:00

last evening went to watch A.R.Rahman LIVE in concert at yuva bharati krirangan. we were a group of seven..me,dada,c di, diya di,anti,abhirup and nabanita. i cant really describe how and what i felt. the man weaves MAGIC. i dont wanna say too much u know...bcos i wanna be selfish and not share what i saw,what i experienced with anyone!!! just.. it was a magical evening.. and the man and his entire team just created music which i am going to carry in myself forever and maybe even in my next life.all i can say.. I LOVE U RAHMAN.

it is the end...my friend!!!!

2009-11-12T22:34:00.001-08:00

i don't know what to write. have a lot of things going on in my mind..but i don't know if i want to let them out.. that too publicly. i was never really too good at taking criticisms but i did somehow. i mean.. i used to be very hurt when someone criticized me for something which i had though would be good.. that is with positive thought..but then i also realized my mistake..if the person was able to convince me and tried to overcome it. but.. what would you do if you constantly try and do good for people..even sacrificing your own thoughts and desires..and all you get is some bad name! moral of the story: NEVER do anything which your conscience doesn't support or your mind doesn't allow you to.you can never make others happy if you aren't happy. and i'll try and follow that from now on.enough i have had of certain things and certain people.no more.

health hazards continue--am i going to die?!

2009-11-06T21:37:00.001-08:00

this phase of not being well is being a bit too lengthy. and i am beginning to lose my patience. and at least with me its like if i am not feeling well inside..i cant feel well outside.again the stomach pain woke me up at 4am after finally sleeping later than 12 am last night.i just seemed to have lost my sleep! i dunno over what! last day has been hectic. in fact a wee bit of activity tires me completely these days. should i start to feel that i am indeed growing old?! i don't feel well most of the times these days. one health problem or the other. will i be ever okay? or am i dying?! i don't know!i have often had a feeling that i'm not going to live long. is that coming true?! maybe. maybe not! but i don't like to be so sick always! i hate it. this is turning out to be an extremely depressing write up,but what to do?!anyways. have to go out yet again.

health is wealth! how i know that!

2009-11-04T22:03:00.000-08:00

long time since my last post. had typed out a few in between but they are still resting in peace in my cell phone! had a great tour post puja. baba was delighted to have us all and we had such a wonderful time.
Ma Kamakhya instantly granted my wish of having the car! so we got it as soon as we came back! we have come a lonnnggg way and so having a car means a lot to us :)
but as the title of my post goes.. health has suffered a BIIIG trough as it got really really bad ..so bad that i had to spend a night at the hospital !! how i hated that. i was always afraid of the needle but now i'm not..i guess!! when they inserted the rice tube through my nose--god!!anyway those days have passed somehow but the health this time has gone pretty bad as i'm continuing to have one problem or the other...
anyways. life's pretty busy at the moment with the tuitions and my health problems!! sometime back my friends from TCS got their joining calls! i'll miss Hindol! had it not been for him..my life would have been different and worse in many ways. i'll really miss him. haven't had too many friends from college.. so the rest going...i don't even care!
su and debarati came to my house that day!loved the adda ! i'd really be looking forward to being with su in the near future! got to know a lot of things from them..wish i had a little more vision and patience during the four years of college.i shouldn't have made most of the mistake that i did!yes BIG MISTAKES.
met an old best friend and was really appalled at what happened to her. i really pray to God to mend her life and make it happy for her.
more.later.

saptami

2009-09-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

maha saptami. woke up in the morning and suddenly remembered that i was very interested in zodiac signs and so had to watch whats your raashee that very day!!
dada got the tickets for me and ma at south city fame,the 2pm show. an above average movie[the review later on maybe in a new post], but tooooooooo long!!
when i came out i had to meet my dearest buddies nitin, antariksh and adg.
started for golpark at 7. the autos at 8B were taking some round about route and chargging 25rs for that! i took a bus and had to stop 4 times..yes..before i could cross jadavpore thana!!and each of the 4 breaks were not less than 15 mins :-(
then met them in front of grub club.they picked me up at adg's dad's new Chevrolet aveo driven by gopal da :D we had to go to maddox square on adg's demand![amar ekdome e ichhe chhilo na] entered maddox square and the 1st thing we see is a fat anbd short girl dressed in a mini black dress.adg just made a comment about her and she turned out to be monali thakur!! :P
we had phuchkas[paid by adg] and then adg's quest for an egg roll began! not having found one he ordered for a chicken cutlet from arambagh's. then anty had pan flavored ice cream [i forgot the name of the brand] it was yummy!
then after leaving maddox we went to he restaurant at the 1st floor at purna das road.
after having a gourmet dinner myself nk and anty went to the golpark ccd. earlier we had plans of going to adg'd complex for some adda but after finishing dinner it was too late to go there. after ccd it was home sweet home.. a good day with some good quality friends :)

shashthi

2009-09-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

24th September 2009, Thursday,maha shashthi. in the evening got gifts from C di..god bless her.. ma was so happy to have received the beautiful Saree..
went out at 6.10pm.met sayantani but lord! it took us 2 hours to reach park street and after having taken all kinda vehicles from rickshaw[ south city to rabindra sarobar metro station],taxi,metro,auto and what not!! we were so damn late.good in one way though. that seal got a taste of his own medicine!!felt bad for ritu though.. just gobbled up all the food in no time ..oh..the place..peter cat!! and the dish--my favorite chicken steaks sizzler. loved it and loved the day.

panchami

2009-09-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

started off in a busy note..but turned out to be a gr8888 day and night as well!! had a bike ride and a few searches finally helped me get to the destination..thanks to sayak.. then picking up my jeans from pantaloons and back home. all of these in the sun!! boy was it hot!! then tuitions in the aftn. lord! today's kids even they have to study for panchami!! made me quite mad but i couldn't say anything because i soon would have to apply for some leaves!! then went out with mom and mashi,mesho to hiland park.some shopping,then back home with them. poor bro had a bad backache.. then the long awaited SPE night!! o my god! it was SUPERRR fun! hippocket and great company.. arnab,chit,abhirup,dada,bhuto da,banta da ..a great musical night and then picked up dinner from azad hind. fun it was..super fun :)

happy pujas everyone

2009-09-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

wishing everyone a very happy puja season :)

a LONG gap.... literally :)

2009-08-24T22:10:00.000-07:00

yes i am back but can't really say with a bang.too many things ..mostly bad and depressing.. but maybe a ray of light... just a dot at the moment though...now making plans for a peaceful adda with my best buddy..ritu. she's in Bangalore right now and we're talking like we've never spoken to each other before. so much similarity in the things which have been happening to us all this while..sharmi just left yesterday..they say people who arrive with rains leave u bad cough and cold.. true they say sometimes ;) anyways trying to move ob with life.. taking in what it has to offer ..at the moment more bad than good things :) but i don't mind.

one for today

2009-03-04T05:50:00.000-08:00

things have changed again eh? oh yes! and how i love them... had a rather long day..driving classes early in the morning... then hunting for the duplicate sim and failing... damn the thief who stole my cell phone..can u please gimme back my sim at least!! :( then tuition... feeling a bit stressed but i like it..its better than sitting n doin nuthin!

happy bday baba!

2009-01-22T19:04:00.000-08:00

23rd jan-- Netaji Subhash's birth anniversary and so's my dad's!! does it say anything..well NOPE!! :P since i forgot and also did not get any time to write yesterday i'll do that now! last day started off on a particularly bad note..but thanks to some people in my life...they made it a super one and one of the most memorable days ever!! i know i love them now...and how!!! today;s gonna be hectic..tuition.. then shopping..then guests..phew.. just a beginning of the tremendous hectic week coming up!!

one for today....

2009-01-21T03:36:00.000-08:00

long gap!! but I've been busy..or have i ?? some developments..some accelerated hormone running! finally I've realized a blog is not just for writing weird poems ;)!! what has changed in these months?? somethingS for sure!! and i am happy!! or am i?? :P well.. i continue to remain the same old boring person..and i bet a few of my buddies will agree for sure :P so much so for the backlog..
as for today.. had a nice witty chat with a witty person! so that makes me happy..

confession..

2008-09-28T00:22:00.000-07:00

Don't forgive me ever..
I'm at fault..
I'm a sinner..
I made way through to the heart and i mutilated the soul..
I made pieces,ripped it apart..
Don't forgive me..i'm at fault.
With an angel's visage i erred the Lord..
Managed a serpentine cached veil
I had the cruel face behind the mask..
Give me hell..o good Lord
Don't forgive me ever...i'm at fault.

pitter patter...

2008-09-18T23:49:00.000-07:00

Its raining..the clouds have finally burst out..
In joy? in agony?
They don't tell me..
The pitter patter sound..quite enchanting...makes me happy
Yes..kinda..it does...
All getting rejuvenated..pristine..fresh..new..
They cast a spell on me...the rains..they do..yes..
Now who's crying there?
Aww...the tiny baby in her mum's arms..
Sing her the lullaby lady..
Or maybe some rain-song?
She'll love it..i know she will..
God's in her still..yes..she'll love it.
There you hear the ugly grogs croaking away..
Shut up..will you?
Actually No!you shouldn't..its monsoon time!
Your season after all..
You should celebrate..
Just because i don't..the world cant stop to jostle!
Can it? what will happen to the people if it does?
What will happen to me?
How will i be able to forget that the cloud got untuned..
That it was crying in anguish?
It just couldn't hold.. no more..
Its raining.. yes..
Pitter patter pitter patter.....

nirvana................

2008-09-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Leering at the black swarthy dome,
The fidgety mind abandoned the hoary home.
Leaving back worries, sloughing no tear,
Undoing the bonds, leaving all peer.
Towards the witchery been cast,
Eclipsing the satanic past.
The toxicity of the smell,
Following up to the alley to hell.
Hollow and eerie, splotches of sin,
Vying all alone, no sign of kin.
Icy cold breath, oodles of lust,
Love was it at all, or desire just?
The stain of vice darkest red,
Slew the soul, did it? Left it dead?
No no they cry, it just let go.
Reincarnation they said it was, was it so?
It’ll live to plague and lick to the last,
Nothing remains, no whit, no dust.
The hell’s porch won’t be left to knock,
Only the narcissism will screech and mock.